i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
