there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.