how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
