wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
