so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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