I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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