But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
