I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
