Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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