omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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