Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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