Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
