do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
