I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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