Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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