if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
PANTIES FOUND
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
