at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
