he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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