Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
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College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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