so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
