you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
