kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
