She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
