im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
