We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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