I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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