I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
