drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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