Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
