dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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