this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize