ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
