I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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