There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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