Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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