whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
