Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
