P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
