I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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