thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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