if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
