he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
