i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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