My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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