So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
