She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
this boner is exhausting
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
