Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
