My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
