i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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