Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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