So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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