Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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