Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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